AUNTY BOBBY
Im becoming increasingly aware that some of my fans have hilarious Problems or 'Issues' if you care and I'd like to feel as if I can help them in some way or another to subside the laughter, so i decided to make this page for you. If you ever feel like you want some advice then feel free to e-mail me and I'll bobby well do my best to help!

Dear Mr Davro
Six weeks ago my dear Grandmama's face tragically caught fire. At the height of the confusion I saw it fit to do the only thing I could do given the senario. I whipped out her pillow from under her flaming head to smother the flames on her face in an attempt to suffocate the blaze. This worked to the point that it doused out the flames but also sufficated Grandamama in the process, leaving her in a severe state of death. Mr Davro what should I do if a situation like this occurs again?
Yours, George Micheal aged 43.

bobby says:
I too, Suffer from having the odd drink too many, but in this sort of situation u should listen to my 5 steps for anti-face fires:
1. Remain calm
2. Never throw water on the victim, there face may explode like the chip-pans on T.V.
3. However tempted you are, never try to control the blaze with screwdrivers or pillows, this will just end in tears.
4. Cafefully call 999 and ask for the fire brigade, take your time and speak clearly, answer any questions they might ask.
5. let the professionals take care of the fire, no one likes a hero. I hope that helps you out George!

dear mr davro,
i have become more aware that my interest in you has been more than just a phase. i am starting to believe that my life revolves around you and your next appearance in Rainbow which are repeated on nick junior every day at 5 in the morning. i time my life around them. maybe it would help if i met you. could you arrange that please. i will travel almost anywhere ( not japan, i am afraid of chopsticks.)

lots of love,
bobbby fan no.1 i promise
eimear oconnor
p.s. hope to hear from you soon.

Bobby Says:

You are perfectly right to have an obsessive interest in me. Everyone does at one point or another in their lives, me included. Remember that we here at Bobby Davros Anonymous do our very best to help people in your situation. If you find it is too hard to cope.......remember Bobby is always with you, if not in Bobby but in soul.
Ps. Would it help if had chopsticks coming out of my nose?



Dear Bobby
I met the most wonderful girl and things were going swimmingly until another man came on the scene! The tradegy is that well I and this young lady had something but the new man in her life, he is a friend of mine. He knows I have notion for Ciara and he went ahead and took her away from me anyway. I am very angry infact I want to kill him, I shouldnt mention names but Paul o reilly broke my heart. Should I let her know how I feel and kick the shit out of the othe guy. Help me Bobby my life is now meaningless and the other man in her life is selfish and all she ever says is that he has "wonderful eyes". I think we should be together Bobby please post this on your website I need advice or I may do something I will regret in the future.
anonymous


Bobby Says:

Mmmmmmmmmmm. Bobby will have to think about this one. Its all very well having an undying love for me........but......in this case I think you should take into account this girl's feelings, not just your own. What would Bobby do? He'd make some lasagne and weed the garden until all his troubles went away.

The following letter has been ammended...:

Look bobby I dont think you fully understand my problem this lovely girl lights up my life I love her more than u could ever know she is a flower in the rich tapastry that is life! Her beautiful smile lights up day and when I see her with you (Mr X) my heart is weary and you dont even realise what you have, infact i know many of the boys in are school would love to feel her touch and u repay this gift by having a notion for some (girl)called (Miss Y)I can sense that she is not happy with this. Could this perhaps be the end of this fruitful relationship. Well you absolutely do not deserve her if I was a violent man I would have done something long ago! Adeiu I will await some more personal information this is absolutely terrible!

Bobby says:

I think you may be taking this too far Mr. Anonymous. Bobby does feel your pain, he really does, but this will do no good for anybody. Make another lasagne and remember, there are plenty more girls in the sea. You'll meet a nice fish one day and this will all be behind you. I may have mixed a few words up there but I'm allowed to.....I am Bobby Davro. Goodnight.

I have been told you are close to bobby and if I wana get in there ur the guy I need to talk to too.i have to admit i love him he pushes all my buttons I cant help it!please put in a good word for me I dont know what to do I have heard that he is interested in other ladees and I can never be that and I feel I could never share him! I want him bad baby yeah!! Help me paddy I want to do it bobby style!! I need u!! but i have 2 say paddy if bobby doesnt want me i'll be open 2 offers and i have noticed u around and found u very attractive so if bobby wont would u ummmmm go 2 bed with me. im waitin 4 ur answer!!!!!please paddy i need bobby
he is my world
my light
my sunshine
i thought i would tell you because i have looked at the website and i know that u are qualifeid 2 deal with an obssession such as mine. tell me what to do paddy.without ur advice i am lost, adrift in a stormy sea and in the wilderness of time. please paddy i feel like u r my saviour, please save me
anonymous(where have u heard this before)

BOBBY SAYS: i totally understand that lots of young women like yourself have a desire to get to know me a little better ;) but i think mrs davro would not be best pleased if she found me with you doing it bobby style, think of the consequences, and the reprocussions for my career if the media finds out! my advice is to use the handy guidelines i prepared for you in my lobby, this should eradicate all lustful thoughts from that naughty little mind of yours. well i must admit this is most peculior, with both a stalker for ciara and a stalker myself, im quit perplexed. however i do have my suspects, (ciara morgan/rachael beggan) but then i cant blame you, i am that damn sexy. .....but i always try to please my fans.....no, i couldnt, could i?.......ok, u win ill meet you at 7pm, we're dojng it bobby style,

I have grown tired of all your leech like behaviour so I'm going to make a spagetti bolognese now, bye!